Wednesday, November 09, 2005

.02

Im frustrated, my chance to get into the dean's list was wrecked because of a .02 difference. The minimum for a Deans list is a 3.35 and I got a 3.33 rarrr I guess it was the C+ in accounting oh well.

I also don't like my schedule for the 2nd semester, My classes are up to 4:30 hayy, no more early uwian, or area time for my org...

On the bright side, I got basketball for Pe...
Not without a catch though, it's my first class every Tuesday and Thursday, 9:00 to 10:00 and only has a 30 minute break for me to take a bath and get to my next class.

Oh well

Currently Listening to:
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Anata (Piano)

Saturday, October 15, 2005

ang ibon...

Matagal tagal na rin akong hindi sumulat sa blog na ito...

Ito ay dahil naisip ko na kung magsasabi rin lang ako ng kwento ay ididiretso ko na sa kanya. "no offense" sa ibang tao, pero para sa akin siya lang naman kasi yung talagang nagmamatter na makarinig.

Ngayon nandito nanaman akong muli sa harap ng monitor. muling tumitipa ng keyboard ng computer, nakikinig sa mga himgi ng mga kantang hindi ko naman naiintindihan...

naze boku wa koko ni irun'darou?
- from Hitomi no Juunin by L'arc~En~Ciel

Kung isasalin ang linya sa taas ito ay lalabas na, Why am I here?- Bakit ba ako nandito? Bakit muli akong nakikipagkaibigan sa mga letra sa itim na infinium keyboard. sa tono mula sa itim na altec lansing speakers, sa ilaw galing sa itim na lg monitor...? Bakit nga ba?

mabigat sa loob ang bumasag ng isang pangakong binitiwan...
mabigat sa loob saktan ang minamahal...
mabigat sa loob ang basagin ang pangakong hindi ko siya sasaktan...

Oo, nasaktan ko siya. Hindi na siguro mahalaga kung sasabihin ko pa na hindi ko siya gustong saktan. Basta ang alam ko nasaktan ko siya...

May isang bata na nabigyan ng isang alagang ibon. Mahal na mahal niya ang ibong ito at gusto niyang nilalaro palagi. Nilalabas niya ito mula sa kanyang hawla upang kanyang mahaplos. Ngunit dahil sa kakulangan ng kaalaman tungkol sa paghahawak niya ng ibon, unti unti niya palang nasasaktan ang kanyang mahal na mahal na alaga. Ang kanyang kagustuhang lumigaya at mapaligaya ang ibon ay totoo ngunit lingid sa kanyang kaalaman nasasaktan niya plaa ng matindi ang kanyang minamahal.

Nasabi ko ang akdang yan sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko gaya ako nung batang paslit. Pareho naming mahal ang aming mga kasama ngunit pareho din kaming tanga pagdating sa kung paano dapat kumilos. Hindi ko man sadyain nanatili ang katotohanang nabasag ko ang pangako ko at siya ay sinaktan...

Nakakailang pangyayari na rin na kami ay nagkaroon ng hindi pagkakaintindihan, ngunit kahit papano naaayos namin, nagagawa naming maayos at maipagpatuloy ang aming relasyon. Nabanggit ko sa kanya na maari naming maayos ito, maari pa naming ipagpatuloy ang nabuo namin. ngunit binanggit niya ang isang katanungan ng hanggang ngayon ay nagbibigay bangungot sa wala kong tulog na isipan...

"Oo pwede pang ituloy, pero paano kung ayaw ko na?"

Masakit marinig ang salitang yan. Masakit din yung naiintindihan ko kung bakit ayaw na niyang ituloy pa. Lalo na kapag naisip mo yung mga pasakit na dinaananan niya dahil at para sa akin.

Ngunit tao lang ako, kahit alam kong may mga sakit na nangyar, hindi ko rin masisi yung sarili ko na gustuhing makasama pa rin siya. Na antayin ang araw na baka sakaling makita niya muli yung mga bagay na makakapagpasabi sa kanya ng

"Mico, tara ituloy natin ito..."

sana hindi pa masyadong bali ang pakpak ng ibon (ang pakpak na ako mismo ang nakabali) at naisin niya muling lumipad kami sa aming mga pangarap

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Yakusoku

I don't need your promises, I already believe...

Stay...

From Cueshe's Stay
So if you’d still go, i’ll understand
would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if you’ll stay, ill hold your hand
cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Now that you’re gone, im all alone
im still hoping that you would come back home
dont care how long, but im willing to wait
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Friday, June 17, 2005

Don't Cry Out Loud...

Broken, shattered, lutang, windang, sabog, basag...

Pick a word, that explains how I feel...

Not my dreams with her though just the way I feel. The dreams are still the things that make me still want to breathe...

It's 3am ... I Must be lonely (Actually 2:45 pa lang)

I'm Frustrated with myself...

Not just because hindi ko naachieve yung goal ko na to be with her and to continue what we have, but it's actually more of frustration kasi it's one of the rare times that I would concede and say, "sige let's do what you want to do..." tapos ganito pa, hindi pa rin maluwag sa loob ko, Hindi ko pa rin siya tanggap, hindi ko pa rin siya naiintindihan...

"Tapusin na natin, Eto na ang gusto ko ngayon"

The time that she mentioned that statement keeps replaying in my mind. I don't want to believe it sana, pero it happened eh... I'm lost...I think that that statement would be going through my mind for the rest of my life...

It's not how good you are, It's how bad you want it...

Saw that on flyer for the tryouts of the Women's soccer team... I wonder kung sa sports lang siya applicable...

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Ice...

Malamig...

Alas-dos ng madaling umaambon (actually umuulan) wala lang ramdam na ramdam ko lang yung lamig nung mga panahong iyon...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Multiply...

Uploaded most of my pics hehe

I used this thingie called multiply

here's the link:

http://micogold.multiply.com

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Happy!

Im Happy :)

Thanks :)

:)

Currently Listening to:

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Cry to the Wind...

If the morning starts
when you and I wake up together.
It must be evening still.
No I dont need the light.
I cannot comprehend.
But I choose to remain in this night forevermore.


And yes the tears do fall...



Shout at the Devil...

Today, Just shows how stupid i am

I wasnt strong enough to hold on to the woman I love (but I still haven't let go nor given up...)
I lost my fone, fone which contained messages that came from someone. Messages that may not come from her again...
I botched my project report, although I did pretty ok at masking some emotion... but still it kinda sucked...


BRING IT ON!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

class...

Watched the NBA Game yesterday between Detroit and Indiana.

Reggie Miller had announced earlier in the season that he would be retiring after this year. And with a few seconds left on the clock and the Pistons leading by a fairly comfortable margin, it seemed that time has come.

So with 20 seconds to go, Reggie's coach called timeout so that the fans can give Reggie Miller a standing ovation, and then...

Larry Brown, the opposing teams coach called a timeout and made his players approach the Indiana Bench to applaud Reggie...

kinda cool already, but made cooler by the fact that a few months ago this same guys were involved in a brawl.

hehe class...

I also liked the crowd chanting One More Year! hehe

Currently Listening to:
Yaiba OST - Yuukiga Areba

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Rain!

Woohoo a reprieve from the scorching heat!

The strongest outpour of rain in a long while :)

Currently Listening to:
Initial D - Mikado

Thursday, May 12, 2005

14

(Ate Anj pahiram lang sandali)

I know what I want, when I want it... and when I choose it, I have no regrets.
No matter how wrong it seems, I'll choose it because it feels so right.
Trust is knowing you can, faith is knowing you will.
So here's my one big leap of faith...

I'm placing my heart in the palm of your hand


(allow me to add my own thoughts as well...)

And no matter what happens...

I'd still believe in Ever After With You

Monday, May 09, 2005

Rant

Rarr!!!

I don't like my current haircut hahaha

I guess I need to wait for a couple of weeks before I begin liking what I see in the mirror again ahahah :P

Currently Listening to:
Rivermaya - Shattered Like

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Haircut...

had a haircut awhile ago hehe

Sabi ni Sir AR pwede daw gamiting pang hair competition early next year yung hair ko kung papahabain so sige go ahahaha

Currently Listening to:
Jay-R - Bakit Pa Ba?

Friday, May 06, 2005

Ni Yao De Ai...

Not now, not today, not ever...

Why?

Because I Love...

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Homily

Medyo late dumating yung pari sa Ali Mall, instead na 12:00 mag start yung mass naging 12:35...

Pero he did give some nice lines during the homily...

Don't look back after making a decision that you believe is good for you. After you have taken your plow and decided to do it, don't look back, go forward, throw all your hesitations and other options aside. Even if it seems hard, difficult, Go on and move forward, Just go and believe and trust in the power of God...

Hey don't get me wrong that is not the exact or direct copy of what the priest said but it is pretty close...

and all I can say to that is.

AMEN!

Currently Listening to:
Maskman - Ending Theme

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The Love in Her Eyes...

Hmm the blog title? it came from the title of one of my drawings...

(check it out at by clicking here)

Kanina nanaginip ako, one of the best dreams I had about her (being with her)...

Ngayon alam ko na yung ibig sabihin nung kumanta ng lines na:

"Kung Ito'y panaginip lamang, ayoko ng magising"

hehe

on a side note:

kapag gumising ako, katabi ko siya, kasama siya... kaya masayang gumising

Currently Listening to:
South Border - Ikaw Nga

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Acceptance...

To Faye: Thanks for remaining by my side...

In this blog is a chronicle of what I was...

Thanks for accepting me, after knowing what I was before, thanks for loving me despite all that...

I do hope that in our decision to go forward with each other we become like the catchphrase of Johnson's Baby shampoo:

No More Tears...

Im gonna state what I feel in the simplest terms possible:

Faye, I love you

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Pope Benedict XVI

I Fell asleep quite early yesterday, around 10:00 (well early at least in my definition)...

But at around 11:30pm I woke up, I actually thought that it was already a new day. But when I looked at the clock on my celphone I realized that it was still night time. I guess I woke up because of Vicky Morales' tone of excitement regarding the smoke that was coming out of the Conclave Chimney thingie, She was not sure wether the smoke was white (which would mean a new pope was elected) or black (no pope yet). And since there was no "tolling of the bell" signal yet the people were really left clueless...

So I went to the tv area and just watched the cluelessness of the people. I was watching for a good 15 minutes when suddenly the bell started moving and I heard the bell tolling. The CNN news crew suddenly got excited and started saying "We Have A New Pope" but even if we had a new pope, the question about who the pope was still remained...

So the poeple waited for the announcement. After about 20-30 minutes a cardinal emerged and anounced the name in Latin. At first he just mentioned the first name, Joseph, and with that I realized that there was one "strong" papabili which had the first name Joseph and that was Joseph Ratzinger, and after a little while the cardinal made it official and announced the last name Ratzinger. And also his chosen name Benedict XVI.

Then I just waited for the Pope's first blessing, and after it I went back to sleep...

Hmm I kinda like the name Ratzinger, does have a nice ring to it don't you think? I also like the way they called him the Panzer Cardinal ahaha. Too bad he had to change it to Benedict XVI cause I really liked the way Ratzinger sounded ahaha.

Hmm on a sidenote: If he was a basketball player and he had that name, it would be so cool ahaha... Ratzinger for three! or Ratzinger with a crossover dribble or The Panzer shoots! hehe anywayz...

On a serious note, I do hope the new pope would also be able to inspire people like the previous pope did... Although I know that it really would be a tough act to follow.

Currently Listening to:
Jaboom Twins - Sumusunod Sa Galaw

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Wala lang na-notice ko lang yung uhm mga vanities ko ahaha

Well ngayon nagfafacial wash na ako (well dati pa naman) pero ngayon uhm may kasama nang astringent ahahaha. Tapos uhm yun nga nagpafacial pa ako dati. Hehehe

Tapos uhm uhm what else yun lang naman ata...

Ay onga yung suklay sa back pocket (although matagal ng kasama ng wallet, susi, panyo, at cell phone yan sa mga things sa bulsa ko).

Tapos yung paginom ng Cherifer para tumangkad wahaha, shucks sana nga tumangkad pa ako...

Currently Listening to:
Sarah Geronimo - Can This Be Love

Addiction

Addicted ako sa Choco Mallow Pie ng Jollibee

haha sarap kasi eh ahaha...

Anywayz, now the household has a videocam, but it sucks since It doesn't have a computer connector thingie like i saw in digital camcorder haha, so much for editing ahaha, I guess I really need a capture card or sumthing ahahaha

I want a new mobile phone, my phone is falling apart ahaha. It's supposedly shockproof but even the housing is breaking down ahaha so how can it be shock proof if I can wreck it with a strong push ahaha.

I;m still waiting for the new pope, the conclave has not yet decided on one as of this blog.

Oh well life :)

Currently Listening to:
Dana - Maybe

If-Then-Else

at the decision point of the program:

If a<93
-If a<88
--If a<80
---If a<74
----If a<68
-----If a<60
-----"F"
-----else "D"
----else "C"
---else "C+"
--else "B"
-else "B+"
else "A"

Feel ko may mali dun sa pinagaralan namin kanina :) (uhm by the way di ko na sinama yung mga nesting signs thingie)

Currently Listening to:
Hale - Broken Sonnet

Friday, April 15, 2005

RANT!

I hated my Random Number (1574)

Now I'm stuck sa isang 3:00-4:30 class grr! And because I didn't advance any subjects yun lang ang class ko for the whole day damn!

Hayy at least more time to prepare oh welpz...

Currently Listening to:
Initial D - Dont you (forget about my love)

Monday, April 11, 2005

Relief

Went to Ateneo to get my grades uhm judging from the post's title I guess ok naman ahaha...

Tal's statement:
Woah bakit ang payat mo?!?!

ahahaha coolness pumapayat daw ako (either ako yung kausap niya or si dentzen pero basta ako yun walang kokontra).

semsestral qpi: 2.89
yearly qpi: 2.86
(so i guess 2.83 yung 1st sem ko ahaha)

Uhm it just shows na I'm just an average college student uhm mediocre pa rin rarr ahaha Ph well I'll try to do better next year :)

Currently Listening to:
Initial D - You

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Random Musings

Medyo hypermode ang brain ko kahapon, isip ng isip ng kung ano anong mga bagay...

Thoughts on

...Buko Pandan
Hehe kala niyo ba serious? uhm mamaya na yun... haha nakakaaddict ang buko pandan. Salad man yan or Zagu or Ice cream or Karambola or Milkshake ahaha masarap yan
...Full House
Na gusto ko pa lang panuorin tong koreanovela na to. But since hindi ko na siya naumpisahan at nasubaybayan locally uhm James (kung nababasa mo to) pwedeng pahiram?
...Loveholic
This Kpop Band/Group is so cool ahaha I hope James will find the second album.
...Taco Bell
The nachos that they serve had been generously sprinkled with salt ahaha then dipping it in cheese wahhaha saltiness
...Fighting Fishes
I want two of them ahaha. The pure red one and the pure bluish/aquamarine-ish one
...Facials
It takes up about an hour in your life ahaha, and you have to do some waiting ahaha wait untill cream uhm settles on your face I guess ahahaha.
...Friends
Sometimes may mga bagay silang ginagawa para sayo na hindi mo alam. Akala mo minsan nagiisa ka sa iyong mga gawain pero there are some people who are actually supporting you ng hindi mo alam ahahaha.
...Making A Difference
While watching the pope's funeral on cnn last friday, I heard the anchor saying "Here is the man who has made a difference." Well, it has always been one of my dreams to make a difference, maybe not on an international scale heck maybe not even national. But at least touch the people that know me, make a difference among my friends and other people that I meet in life. Make a difference in a way na if I die, then people ask about me, they will not say ahh si Mico LANG pero ahh si Mico siya yung (blah blah)...
...Love
Well about love I thought about two things. The first is that I want to give her ( I would give the name but she doesn't want me to) the love that she can lean on no matter what. A love which can be held on to in times of trouble and problems. Yung parang kahit sobrang hirap na at gulo ng situation at kung ano-ano pa masasabi na lang niya na Ahh basta mahal ako ni Mico... tapos kahit papano everything would be a little bit better...

The other thing is uhm let us say parang conceited to. Sana yung tipong love na maibibigay ko sa kanya eh yung type na would lead her into being proud of saying na mahal niya ako. Yung tipong kahit sa friends and family kaya niyang sabihin na ha may mahal ako eh, si mico... tapos she would be willing to face uhm the thingies thrown to her because of that proclamation. Ewan kasi parang the way I view it, when the time comes na kaya na niyang gawin yun, siguro ibig sabihin nun na sobrang comfortable siya sa pagmamahal na ibinigay ko sa kanya...


Currently Listening to:
Loveholic - Key With Rust



Friday, April 08, 2005

Promise

Hmm nakita ko lang sa status message ni alden at napauhm ako ahaha...

Promise me you'll be here when I wake up because I need you...

Uhm wala lang yun lang...

Currently Listening to:
Daniel Bedingfield - If you're not the one (remix)

Middle of the night

I woke up at around 2am ahaha can't sleep so I'll just blog this...

I was browsing thru the solid07 forums when I saw this line...

Promises Given By You To Me Will Be Forever In Mind

uhm ok ahaha I kinda get the feeling... that's all ahaha can't really say much

Currently Listening to:
Three Degrees - Precious Moments

Thursday, April 07, 2005

No Fear

Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams...

Come on, let's do it, let us cast our fears aside, let us try to attain our dreams, free from all the worries that may come in the future...

Trust yourself, Trust me, and most of all trust the emotion...

Currently Listening to:
Dionne Warwick - I'll Never Love this way again

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Kiss Me, Hug Me and Never Ever Let Me Go...

hmm shall i say emotionally spent? hehe pero ewan i hope may silbi yung pagkagamit sa emotion ko...

Ii just poured my heart and soul into one conversation, funny that even if this must have been the (more or less) 15th time it happened to us, I'm still whole, we are still together, I'm still breathing her name, still holding on to her, still loving her...

Many times this has happened, many things said, many reasons on why she has to go, a few reasons why I want her to stay, but much more reasons to love her...

For now we are ok, she told me, and I find myself believing... I know that going for this is going to be hard, but even now I still find comfort in the fact that by doing this, by going through all this there might just be a chance that she will be with me. This events may happen again for the 16th,17th or 100th time but I'm willing to take it, It is painful that I know but I can feel that this pain would be more bearable than the pain that comes if she would leave me...

Knowing these kinds of circumstances I realize that to fight for this may not be the most rational or practical thing to do. But as Alden said...

hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable...

My heart isn't unbreakable... so I guess I will never be practical when it comes to this...

Thought this may sound selfish but this time I'm more determined to keep my heart intact because I realize the pain that it would cause me if she leaves like this, I will not allow my heart to break thus I shall fight for her...

She is my happiness, and I'm holding onto her... Words that she said are more than enough assurance that I'm doing the right thing...

I Love Faye Librojo Ibasco... At least to the extent of what I know of love. I love her though I can't really describe how I know. And though her circumstances try to dampen the emotion I still find myself burning with that emotion I feel for her. Though events us like this cause us pain, I love her. Though I haven't touched her, I love her. And although she may not know it, I still love her...

I guess the things that I do reflect the way I feel for her. I guess I wouldn't really try to hold on or strive to never give up if I didn't believe in what we feel for each other. Though at times I seem doubtful, filled with questions and uncertainties, deep down (if you can believe me) I never waivered. Even now I still hold firm to that belief... that's why I strive, that's why I continue.

I try not to say
the words that might scare you away
I know down inside
You are mine and I'm your true love
Please no more dreaming...


Kinda conceited don't you think? But in a way I do feel the same, I do hope it comes true now, I do hope we start putting our dream of being with each other into reality.

So many uncertainties, so many things that are unsure, plenty of confusion and nearly broken dreams but one thing stil holds true:

I'll love Faye till the rest of my days....

No matter who tries to stop me, no matter what they do to me, I will. This is my belief, my leap of faith in the emotion that engulfs my very existence right now. Im already swept away by it, and there's no denying it, I'm actually enjoying this emotion, and I've got nothing else to do about it except believe...

I'll Kiss You, Hug You and Never Ever Let You Go...

Currently Listening to:
Loveholic - Kiss Me Hold Me

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Nothing




























if nothing lasts forever...







































....will you be my nothing?




















Monday, April 04, 2005

Romance

Nanood ako nung queer eye for the straight guy ahaha nice...

Kakaaliw kasi may Filipino roots yung straight guy and yung wife niya ahaha. Kakaaliw yung mga bading lalo na si Carson (hehe thanks kay Faye at nalaman ko kung sino siya) dahil parang aliw na aliw sila dun sa guy.


Ang ganda, ang romantic nung mga scenes oh well ahahaha


Hmm... "I guess being apart actually helped us since we just talk on the phone, and it helps because it somewhat forces us to speak..." <- Hmm i dunno, pero siguro kaya naging ganito kami kasi uhm kahit papano ganyan yung situation although di naman ganon kapareho it's still quite similar ahaha...


wala na after nun, lunch tapos naligo ako tapos kumain tapos nag check ng email ahahaha
sumakit yung ulo ko afterwards kaya natulog na ako ahaha...


well ayos na ako ngayon kaya eto blog na :)

Currently Listening to:
Paolo Santos - Moonlight Over Paris

Sunday, April 03, 2005

BABOY

Haha So darn hot hehe...

I dunno something about this summer is making me eat a whole lot ahaha tumataba na ako rarrr... So today ang last day ng pagiging baboy ahaha, diet nga at uhm jogging ewan ahahaha bahala na wahaha. Basta gusto ko lumiit yung tummy ko ahahaha...

Currently Listening to:
Elton John - Can you Feel the Love Tonight

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Hold On

I Guess This is no really the most true meaning of the song, but then aren't we all entitled to give meanings to things :P

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they’re way too long
And your nights you can’t sleep at all (hold on)
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for
But you don’t want to no more
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for
but you don’t want to no more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on


Currently Listening to:
Good Charlotte - Hold On

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

You Are My Song

Went to Megamall hehe

Played initial d, been quite some time since I played that game ahaha, beat some racers in the wet courses but still wasn't able to beat KT oh well hehe...

Then skated ahaha. I kinda lost my skating feel. Was not able to stop quickly now, oh well. Maybe if I practice again ahahah rarrr....

Hmm Life...

Currently Listening to:
Regine Velasquez - You Are My Song

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Antipolo

Rarr pupunta kami ng antipolo...

Been a while since I last went there, I don't like to go there since I'd be so damn bored, there's a tv but there's no cable, a vcd player but it's not in my room, there are some magazines but I'm pretty sure I've read them all, oh well. Good thing I've got a sun sim hehe...

I don't know it's just gonna be 2 days and 2 nights ahaha (actually 2 and a half nights since we a're going there tonight) but rarr I guess I'll be so bored ahaha...

Well anywayz I guess I'll just drive around the village, I guess that's the only thing that can take away some boredom. Rarr

I guess I'll use some of the time to reflect too. Been saying more prayers now, I guess I could use the blank days for more reflections...

Hmm narinig ko lang kanina medyo napa awww ako ahaha:
Kahit Ikaw ay lumayo
At masaktan ako
Asahan na 'di maglalaho...

Ang pag-ibig ko'y tanging sa'yo lamang
Kung kaya giliw dapat mong malaman
Minsan lang kitang iibigin
Minsan lang kitang mamahalin
Ang pagmamahal sa'yo'y walang hangganan
Dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman


Currently Listening to:
Regine Velasquez - Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

License

Woke up early to get a license hehe

I arrived in LTO around 8:00 but I didn't have the required drug and medical tests yet so I went to the area across LTO to get them. Hehe took some time since I wasn't able to urinate at that time ahaha.

Then waited until my number (82) was called for the submission of documents thingie until my name was called for the picture and signature and then waited again till they called me to pay 25 Pesos for the application fee thingie then waited till I was allowed to enter the review room. Took the test and waited for the result, was told to go to the practical testing area hehe. The practical test sucked, the jeep was so hard to handle that it was the examiner who did the shifting for me. After that I waited... I was waiting for about an hour when the lady suddenly said LUNCH BREAK! rarrrr!!!!

I decided to just go home first. I ate and then left as soon as I finished ahaha. Sayang sa pamasahe pero sige ok lang yan :P

As soon as I arrived in Lto my name was called hehe sakto! paid the license fee and then waited after about an hour of waiting my license was finally released ahaha yeah!

license

Currently Listening to:
Himikio Den - Pure Snow

Monday, March 14, 2005

Rarr...

Ok, I guess I can't really write about it in this blog but well today is the start of something.

That something would probably be understood by only two people. Me and Her. Although I'm not sure if we'd be prepared for it, but I hope we can make it.

From the song Can We Just Stop and Talk Awhile:
"It's the beginning of the rest of our lives..."

Spent the day at home. Finals week in school but I didn't have any finals exam scheduled today I just stayed at home.

Was online for quite some time, hehe haven't done that ever since I ran out of the unlimited prepaid card (weird I ran out of unlimited how can you run out of something that is unlimited rarrr well anywayz). Just checked some sports sites and then downloaded some songs.

Then talked on the phone, i gues I spent some time on this as well. Kinda cool that even if I spend long hours on the phone talking to the same person everyday, I never get tired of doing it.
Then spent some time typing stuff. Then went online and saw a status message in ym. it goes (I'm not sure if this is copied word for word but something similar I guess):

"If things would change, I would still follow you..."

Yup, If things would change I would still follow her...

Currently Listening to:
Clay Aiken - Measure of A Man

Friday, March 11, 2005

My Hair...

I had a haircut a while ago...

While in school the thought just popped into my head that I'm going to have a haircut, and boom hehe my previously long hair is now just "longish".

Hehe kinda funny when I was in school I was borrowing camera phones and taking pictures of myself with long hair haha for remembrance lang ba ahaha...

Oh well...

I guess hahaba naman to in a few months. Wahhh!

Currently Listening to:
Hyde - Angel's Tale

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Buhay pa ako

Hello people! ahaha Long time. Hehe wala pa rin kasi akong unlimited internet card kaya di na ganon ka-regular ang blogging ko.

Actually medyo busy din hehe. Pero ang major reason talaga eh yung kawalan ng internet card hehe.

Hmm wala naman talagang gaanong "ground breaking" thingie na nangyari sa akin, hmm medyo napilitan lang akong matutong gumamit ng Adobe Premier hehe kinailangan ko kasing i-edit yung Fil 12 video namin. Ayun kahit papano ayos naman ahaha.

Hmm ano pa ba? Well marami akong natutunang bagay na secret ko na lang wahahaha.

Hmm kahapon parang nabunutan ako ng tinik sa lalamunan... basta hehe eto na lang

Words to live by:
1. I Love You.
2. iyong-iyo ako.
3. I hope my future is with you.

Bonus:(4. hehe secret ko na to...)

Ayos na ko, kahit anong bagyo ang dumating, kahit gaano katagal na panahon ang kailangang hintayin basta naniniwala ako sa mga salitang yan, Keri lang. (I'll be able to Hold on and will never ever let go...)

(teka pahabol, nung narinig ko yung mga salitang yan uhm to quote from the song na pinapakinggan ko this very moment uhm " Pagibig ko'y humahataw, damdamin ko'y umaapaw sa tuwa..."

Currently Listening to:
Erasherheads - Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling Ka

Friday, February 25, 2005

Freeze

Late na ko nakatulog nung Thursday...

Hayy problem again. Hindi ko na alam anong gagawin ko. Hayy antay na lang siguro ulit. Yun lang naman ata ang magagawa ko eh uhm meron bang term as active waiting? hayy

Sa school medyo halata daw na down ako hehe. Siyempre hindi na ako nagkwento. Lalo lang sumasakit eh rarr. Hayy life talaga...

Pagdating ko sa bahay, tulog kaagad ako. Sabi ko pag nagising ako ng 5:30 or 6:00 pupunta pa ako sa Aura (the ACTM Yearend concert) kaso nagising ako ng 5:45 hehe kaya uhm di na ko pumunta. Not to mention I was also waiting for a call that may never even come...

Tapos nagaantay ako nung tawag pinanood ko yung 100 days with Mr. Arrogant (isa itong korean film), shit ang ganda niya hehe. Dapat 100 days lang sila magsasama kaso may nangyari sa loob ng 100 araw na yun na biglang hindi na nila kayang mawalay sa isa't isa. Pinaghihiwalay sila ng circumstances pero gumawa talaga sila ng paraan para magkasama... (hmm kung 1 week with Mr. Arrogant to siguro kahit comedy siya ngumangawa pa rin ako :P)

Aba may nagtext, so siyempre nagantay na ako hehe, natuwa ako na tama yung decision ko to stay sa house...

Tapos habang nakikinig sa Save the Last Dance for Me song na Give My Love (English) ni Edward Chun. I came across the line:
Know that, Times can't change my love for you...

Wala lang, yan na lang sana ang marealize niya... at hmm 1:35 na wala pa ring tawag ahahah. Oh well... :(

Currently Listening to:
Save the Last Dance for Me OS T - Give My Love (English)

Monday, February 21, 2005

D~Valentine Fair

Last week, the D~Valentine's fair took most of my time hehe. It was fun though so Ok lang..

Monday:
Setting up. Hehe Medyo mahirap since yung booth namin gumagamit ng tents kaso ang naiwang magkakasama ay Ako, Si Krice, si Bianca, si Tracy, si Khristian at si Nikki hmm medyo vertically challenged kami hehe buti na lang dumating yung isang guy at hehe naset up din.

Auntie Anne's was a super success, grabe hindi na ata nakapag-break yung mga pretzel people hehe. Yey.

Test sa PE 101, hehe hassle pero feel ko naman naipasa ko siya kahit papano.

Evaluation: Kinda Ok, not as difficult as I imagined it to be.

Tuesday:
Dahil may 3 hour break ayun tumambay ako sa booth hehe.

Ayun nothing really big happened during the day, at uhm mabenta pa rin ang Auntie Anne's. Nice nga since di na rin niya kailangan ng mga people na babantay.

Uhm nung gabi medyo nagkagulogulo ang life ko uhm Basta parang na Mirror Mirror (kanta ng M2m) siya hehe. Grabe ang drama ko pala hehe. Oh well...

Wednesday:
Luckily naayos din ang problem, hayy good thing mapagpasensya at mapagpatawad si Faye :P hehe

Anywayz, wala pa ring bago, buhay pa rin ang mga booth at thriving pa rin ang Auntie Anne's.

May wall climbing thingie sa Quad kaso tinatamad pa ako hehe I decided na bukas ko na lang siya aakyatin.

Thursday:
Another 3 hour break ahaha.

Kasama si Ate Denise, umakyat kami ng Wall. Hehe Nice I was able to go to the top part, hehe but I guess I got tired since I wasn't able to rapel (correct spelling?) na hehe.

The booth was ok, and hayy Auntie Anne's still gets a lot of customers though not as plenty as monday ( I think).

Friday:
Last Nstp thingie. Ayos lang hehe

Tapos Pack up time. cool medyo hassled lang kasi ang dami palang products and stuff, buti na lang nandun si khristian and Vanjo. Hmm Hassle lang wasn't able to meet Faye today ahahaa rarr. Oh well...


Overall thingie:
Saya ng life. Hehe kahit na nakakapagod masaya pa rin.,
Nakakasawa ang donuts ng ciello, ang pretzels ng auntie anne's because they are expensive ahaha.

Currently Listening to:
S#arp - You're Lips Like Warm Coffee

Friday, February 18, 2005

Flashback (part 2)

So eto ang part 2 ng flashback hehe damn, nagpile up na siya. I really need an unlimited card again ehehe.

Friday:

Immediately after class went to Megamall to meet with Iking and play some Initial D. I made a new car (actually same but different color and different settings) and played until I reached a level that I can't beat (against keisuke takahashi) hehe well i guess i was playing for about an hour.

Then met up with iking for the Job interview. Turns out it was a networking thing. I guess I was kinda disappointed I was hoping it was something like a salescrew but oh well that's life.

Kinda proud of myself for sticking to the no meat fasting every Friday.
Kinda sad she wasn't able to call.

Saturday:
Final Day of insertion in Baseco.

We were tasked with cleaning Cement Bricks hehe. Hassle since some upperclassmen were not doing anything haha kakaasar. Haha kaaliw din na isang panandaliang buhos ng ulan lang at medyo wasted na yung paglilinis namin ahaha.

I guess I miss her so much ahaha napatawag tuloy ako kahit sa cel lang wahaha. It was short but uhm sweet. And I don't mind spending for another 23 minutes with her...

Sunday:
Was planning on hearing mass in Ali Mall, but then I can't understand the priest so I just left.

Played some games and wrote some stuff hehe. Ayos na.

Sun's 24/7 really helps when you miss someone hehehe.

(Last part: The d~valentines fair thingie tomorrow)

Currently Listening to:
Final Fantasy X - Pray

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Flashback

Hehe I guess I got pretty busy.

Well actually not really busy, but for some unknown reason there seems to be a shortage of unlimited prepaid cards here in cubao so I was forced to buy a 30 hour card hehe. So in a way, I guess I'm also conserving my card.

Wednesday:
Ash Wednesday, heard my first ever mass at Gesu. Also the day of our Pe presentation. I guess we really sucked since we lacked preperation for it hehe Oh well. Next time I guess...

Thursday:
Math long test, kinda hard. I studied but I guess I failed it hehe ( no results up to now). well I did my best (but I guess my best wasn't good enough)

After the math test, I went to the table-tennis area to watch Vanjo and Euric play. Hehe I was able to play a game too. I'm not good at it (heck I don't know how to play) but after playing with Vanjo for a while, I guess I improved a bit.

Then shot some hoops with Vanjo. I was able to hit some 3s with the new shot release that I practiced hehe. I hope this good shooting touch stays.

Then filipino class, hehe I don't know, nothing really happened during this class (either that or I just can't remember today).

After Fil. Khristian, Chino and I went to play Ps2 at hobby stop. Hehe I played the most exciting game I've ever played in Nba live 2005 against Khsistian. I was using the rockets and he was using the suns. He had a four point lead with about 20 seconds to go. I called timeout, and fired a 3 point shot using Yao Ming hehe. It banked then went in and out and in. ehehe Then Juwan Howard was able to make a steal and hit a go ahead dunk hehe. After that T-Mac was able to make a steal and made a pass to Eric Piatkowski for a three which sealed the win.

After Hobby stop we went back to Ateneo for the Actm d~valentine meeting. Hmm it was ok, not that much problems hehe but it was still kinda stressful.

After that 3po. Nice play, nice videoke sections. And the girl who played Polly's kinda cute.

To be continued sa next post...

Currently Listening to:
U2 - With or Without You

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Pagmulat

Hmm hehe actually nung minulat ko ang mata ko nung Linggo uhm medyo puro muta siya...
medyo naluluha luha kasi ako bago ako matulog. (sige fine aamin na umiiyak ako nun :P)

Hmm ewan, pero nung lumipas ang oras, nagkaroon ako ng mga realizations. Kaya ayun hehee napatigil ang kalungkutan at onti-onting napapalitan ng kaligayahan.

Conversation between Me and my inner voice:
MICO(me)
mico(inner voice)

mico: psst gago bakit ba ang lungkot mo?
MICO: Eh kasi baka wala na eh, wala na yung kung ano man yun (hehe secret ko na yun)
mico: Isa ka pa lang hunghang!
MICO: Huwaat? How can you say that?
mico: eh hindi ba sinabi naman niya that She'll fight for her happiness (and she said that her happiness is you) at that She'll try to call you/talk with you everytime she can, and most important of all dude, she told you that she loves you...tapos para kang gago diyan.
MICO: Uhrmm...
mico: See? what are you so sad about then?
MICO: Onga no, hehe now that I think about it hehe I guess I shouldn't be sad...
mico: Hehe di ba? Just trust her, have faith in her and the things she said. Believe in the thing that binds the two of you (love perhaps?) then there are really no need for tears to fall...
MICO: I guess I just don't want to miss her...
mico: hmm, ok lang yan dude, understandable kung ganon lang hehe eto tissue :P

(hehe sometimes the voice inside me is really smarter)

Hehe wala lang I still miss her but I'm not lonely...

I guess it really is true when I say that when I think of her I get lonely but when I think of her again then I'm not so lonely anymore...
Currently Listening to:
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (Live, July 04,2004 concert)

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Roller Coaster

Pasikot-sikot, may mga puntong tila maabot mo na ang mga ulap, may mga puntong halos sadsad na sa lupa ang iyong talampakan. Pero sa dulo masaya ka...(o nasusuka :P) Ganito ang rollercoaster. Tila ganito din ang buhay.

Tulad na lang ng linggong ito. May mga emotional ups and downs. Maraming tawanan at mayroon ding iyakan. Tulad na lang nung Martes ng gabi, sobrang lungkot ko noong araw na iyon, Isang kalungkutang umabot hanggang Miyerkules ng gabi. Hanngang Miyerkules ng gabi lang dahil nabawi ito ng mga sinabi sa akin. Tuloy ang saya hanggang Huwebes at Biyernes, at pagdating ng Sabado ng gabi (at Linggo ng madaling araw) ayun wasak nanaman.

(Pasensya na, ayaw ko na lang kasing idetalye kaya malabo)

Nakakaaliw, ang cute isipin na iisa lang ang dahilan nito. Sabi nga dun sa kanta
"My power, my pleasure, my pain..."

2 months, kaya ko yan... Kung iisipin walang dapat ikalungkot sa mga sinabi niya sa akin, Siguro ayaw ko lang kasing pakawalan pa yung anumang namamagitan sa amin. Maging FB/pagkakaibigan/pagmamahalan yun ayaw ko lang pakawalan siguro...Kahit na sinabi niya na nandun pa rin naman ang mga iyon pagkatapos ng 2 buwan...

Ang hina ko lang siguro. Pero hindi kaya to. Kakayanin...para sa akin, para kay Faye.

Nasa roller coaster ako... hindi ako nasusuka, masaya ako... Siguro hindi ako masisisi kung ayaw ko pang bumaba., kung hihiling akong ipagpatuloy ang mataas, mababa at pasikot sikot na daloy ng ganito...

Currently Listening to:
Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not the One

My Prayer

Malapit na mag 1 hehe alam ko 1 na yung start ng pagalis niya... Hmm pabaon na lang siguro or sumthin ewan... Di ko na rin naman alam, Basta I'll miss her.

(from Devotion's My Prayer)
God will you keep her safe from the thunderstorm.
When the day is cold will you keep her warm
When the darkness falls will you please shine her the way
God will you let her know that I love her so
When there's no one there that she's not alone
Just close her eyes and let her know
My heart is beating with hers

Kakain na ako, tatawa na lamang dahil ang ulam namin ngayon ay Kare-Kare...

Currently Listening to:
Devotion - My Prayer

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Feelings

Welcome to my Feelings, Welcome to my Life...

Sle... Wasn't able to sleep last night. Was up for 3 hours listening to a single song. Trying to understand it, trying to get something from it. I dunno, I feel weird,shattered, stupid...

Took a bath a tad too early, that led into me arriving in school early as well (around 6:30). So early that I was the first to arrive in the room. So I went down and bought breakfast, went back to eat it and waited for the 7:30 class to begin (while still listening to that single song).

Felt really sleepy. I wanted to sleep in the library but I was afraiod that I might oversleep. Luckily Richmond and Chris wanted to sleep too.So we went to Berch to see where we could sleep. We were out of luck so we settled to sleep in the corridor. We slept on the area between the 2 doors of B207. Richmond leaning on the left, Chris lay down in the middle, and I slept on the right. Too bad no one took pictures I was really curious on how we looked like since Nikki told us that "Kulang na lang lata, pulubi na..."

We discussed some sad love poems in Mr. Remoto's class. Maybe it's because Valentine's day is approaching. The topic went to how Love is fleeting and that we must learn to let go and stuff like that. Hehe of course Sir Danton again looked at me and said "hindi ako bitter! HINDI! di ba Miguel?"...

It was kinda funny but I dunno I guess I took it a bit too seriously, in response I wrote a letter of some sorts. I wrote it during lit class hehe so Yes I wasn't really listening intently to the discussion but I was still paying some attention to it.

Ok let's just say that It's a letter to me, or to my Feelings:

Before I really believed in the Zen thinking of love being fleeting. Something like Love would not last forever. It won't last so we must cherish it whent it's there.

I guess it is more believable since this is what really happens in real life. Not unlike in hollywood and fairy tales where people always seem to live happily ever after.

But then I realized that to look at love that way (the zen way), would defeat the purpose of love. There would be a tendency to be pessimistic if I hold on to that kind of view.

I guess there should be balance. And I think little by little I'm understanding the balance between these two views.

I think that while it is true that love is fleeting, and that love would not last forever it is also not that significant. I'm starting to think that what is significant is fighting for that love, for trying to make that love last for eternity. Finding the courage to try and transcend the boundaries that people have set about love (about love not being eternal).

And I know that for this I would try to make it go on. That I would fight to make this "love" last forever. You may break me, shake me, hate me, but I will give it a shot. Any pain that I might go through because of this would not matter. I will not regret anything. I will give it a try. I won't give this up. Not now, not today, not ever...

Happy Valentines (12 days advanced)
Mico

And not long after I finished the "letter" the bell rung, and I went out of the room with a little bit clearer picture of my feelings.

Currently Listening to:
Devotion - My Prayer

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Initial D version 3

Hmm some things happened yesterday so before I go to the feature presentation hehe flashback muna...

Hmm Well the day was pretty routine at first hehe. Math (as usual I wasn't able to understand) and English (bored hehe).

Fun (?) started during lit class... For some reason Mr. Remoto keeps on telling me that he's not bitter ahaha. I guess it started when I joked about him being bitter well anywayz...

Then ES, hmm amazing race type lesson/presentation. Talo kami eh hehe 4th place lang ata ehehe (out of eight) pero at least it was fun. Then ayun perfect pa yung score ko sa quiz hehe neat...

Before PE shoot around muna. BUt nagkayayaan ng 3 on 3 (na naging 4 on 4) ewan Stupid shooting touch ahaha pero at least may mga nice plays ahaha.

PE 101 reporting lang ayun hehe I got a 37 out of 50 dun sa midterms hehe ayos na rin yun.

After Pe basketball nanaman, leche binaboy kaming dalawa ni Jc haha lupit nung kalaban namin eh, oh well at least uhm nakalaro ulit ako.

maaga ako nakatulog baduy naman

Now on to our feature presentation...

Uhm math, err I dunno hehe I guess Im understanding the lesson now ahaha. A few more practice questions should do the trick...

After math, Chris and I went to the Com arts parking hehe. We were waiting for Vanjo and Euric. Haha Saya, andami palang magandang tanawin dun... Hehe in the wrods of Euric "Shit Chong, naiinlove ako" wahaha...

We went to Megamall to play Initial D. Wahah saya, I finally won a battle race against Chris ahaha ayos to, hehe I really felt my Initial D skills improve hehe.

Ayun went back to School. Medyo 15 minutes late kami pero Ok lang hehe buhay pa naman...

Haha tuesday night ngayon hmm basta wala lang...

Currently Listening to:
Christopher Cross - Think of Laura

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Week 1

Ayan 2 weeks daw eh...

Well went to megamall to hear mass. I was late coz I didn't know that the mass was being held at the path in front of Jollibee instead of megatrade hall 3 hehe. Well there, after the mass I went to Timezone to play hehe. Initial D again, but I really really suck at this wehehe damn.

At home I just typed my three seasons thingie, hehe after that I went online...

Hmm chatted with her... And yun medyo nabasag ang 2 weeks since nagusap kami wahaha. I miss her naman kaya I'm happy that I was able to talk to her... And yun at least I start the two weeks on a happy note :)

Tomorrow is school day hehe, hassle to... I'm feeling so lazy wahaha...

Currently Listening to:
17:28 and Heart Evangelista - Last Love Song

17 minutes...

Hmm wala lang Hindi na ako ganon kalungkot...

Ang pinakamahabang 17 minutes ng buhay ko ay naganap kanina. At sa loob ng 17 minutes na yon, mas naintindihan ko ang mga bagay bagay...

Mga ilang bagay na narealize ko...
Na hindi ko magawang magalit sa isang sitwasyon kapag kasama ka...
Na effective weapon pala ang luha laban sa akin...
Na kahit na wala pang 24 oras ang lumilipas, maari mong mamiss ang isang tao...
Na pwede mo talagang mahalin ang isang taong hindi mo pa nakikita...

Sige 2 weeks, kaya yan...

(I just don't want to miss you tonight)

Hmm tapos ayun nanuod nga pala ako sa Up film center ng Pelikulang three seasons. Hmm astigidig yung mga scenes niya ang lupit ng mga ibang images dun hehe kakaaliw...

Para makapunta sa film center uhm inisip ko na magjeep kahit na di ko alam kung san yun. Yun pala kailangan ko lang pumunta ng Mcdo at sumabay kay Khristian ehehe.

Tapos uhm a line from that film:
"Don't make me feel something that I'm not capable of"

Currently Listening to:
Sugarfree - The allan song

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Ironic...

Ayun pumasok ako... kailangan eh...

Sa math ayos lang, carry lang naman. Naintindihan ko naman kahit papano yung mga sinasabi ni Sir Muga. I guess maganda rin na umpisa ng 2nd half ng math. New slate, i guess I should build on the good start that I had nung 1st sem.

Tapos english ewan. Kakaaliw lang, hehe sinamahan ko si Nix sa car niya para kunin yung report niya. Pagdating namin dun sa car niya hindi na niya makita yung visuals niya. So pabalik nagrarant na si Nix, hehe sa classroom ayun nasa bag na pala niya yung report wahaha. Ayos lang at least may exercise.

Then literature. Potakte sentihan to. Tama ba naman na magplay si Sir Danton ng Pablo Neruda cd sa panahong sabog ang emosyon ko. Ewan, tonight I can write nanaman ba ito? hayy...

Es Lecture ayun career mode on sa recitation. Medyo sabog pero sige recite lang ng recite. I think maganda naman ang performance eh ehehe. Sa laboratory naman reporting ayun I guesss we did well (maraming maraming salamat kay Hans sa todo-todong sacrifice na ginawa niya para sa group). Nasabi ko na we did well dahil sabi ni Ma'm she liked our presentation hehe yeahboi!

Pizza hut time. Free Pizza thanks to the January Birthday People. Thank you Kathy and James.

After that pumunta ako ng Up. Onting lakad lang sa sunken, tapos nagkita kami ni James. Nakisabay ako para makapunta sa Lsgh. Ayun lsgh... Shoot ganda na nung SJA (actually SJ theater na rarr). Kaaliw yung mga professor ko, medyo weird lang at wala si Miss Fay hehe pero ayos na rin sulit na ang 300.

Habang nanonood kami ni James dumating si Iking at si Gijo so ayun hehe reunion of some sorts (nak ng pusa reunion ng 4 leche-ness). Ayun pagkatapos ng thingie nagpunta kami ng greenhills para kumain. Dun kami sa hotshots at ayun bonding session lang. Aliw lang napapalibutan ako ng mga taga-UP . At lalong aliw na nagdrive si Gijo.

Nung nagkahiwalay na nagpunta kami ni James sa Timezone. Bwiset version 2 lang initial d nila rarr oh well. Hehe sige laru pa rin ako kahit na hindi na talaga para magbuild up ng stats. Ayun pagkatapos sinundo na kami nung kuya ni James.

Pagdating ko sa bahay ang sakit ng ulo ko. Potakte parang may hangover kahit na di pa ako umiinom lecheness.

Ironic:

-na naiintindihan ko ang mga lessons at mga sinasabi ng guro ko, pero ang sarili kong damdamin hindi...
-na nasasamahan ko sa mga lugar ang mga english blockmates ko, pero ang taong tinuturing kong mahal hindi...
-na nagagawa kong maintindihan kung san nangagaling ang kalungkutan ng mga ibang tula ngunit ang sarili kong kalungkutan hindi...
-na alam ko ang mga kasagutan sa mga tanong sa ES at naipapahayag ko ang mga ito sa isang maayos na paraan ngunit ang nararamdaman ko hindi...
-na nasasama ako sa mga masasayang salo salo pero ako ay malungkot...
-na maaaring sa wakas ay nagkasama na kami sa iisang lugar ngunit parang mas lalo kaming lumayo...
-na napapalibutan ako ng mga tagaUp pero wala dun ang taong talagang gusto kong makasama...

Currently Listening to:
Rivermaya - You'll Be Safe Here

Friday, January 28, 2005

Kailangan?

Oo, tama ang oras ng blog ko 5:55 am (parang sardinas).

Nawindang ata ako ng todo dun sa nangyari kaninang madaling araw. Pagkatapos malaman na mahal ka rin ng isang taong tinuturing mong minamahal, saka mo malalaman na iyon na ang huli niyong paguusap.

Nakatulog pa naman ako pagkatapos nun. Pero hehe isang oras lang ata, ewan hehe, pinalipas ko na lang yung oras sa pakikipagstaring match sa kisame (talo ako, napaluha ako ng kisame...). Tapos biglang naisip ko na medyo senselss and useless ang ganon naisip ko na lang na.... magblog (nyak)

Umabot ang 5:25, kahit na nanlalata ako at nalulungkot bumangon ako, nagpatay ng alarm sa celfone at naligo. May pasok kaya kailangan

Nagsipilyo ako. Magsasalita, hihinga at basta bubukas ang bibig koko mamaya kaya kailangan.

Nagsuot ng contact lens. titingin ako sa mga sinulat ng prof mamaya kaya kailangan

Natapos ang pagligo, nagbihis ako. Nagbrief, nagmedyas, nagpantalon. Naniniwala ako sa freedom of expression pero hindi decent ang hindi magbihis kaya kailangan.

Sinabi ko na mahal ko siya. Kailangan?

Sinabi niya sa akin na mahal rin niya ako. Kailangan?

Dahil mahal niya ako kailangan niyang lumisan. Kailangan?

Hindi na daw muna kami maguusap. Kailangan?

Sinabi niya sa akin na wag ko na daw siyang antayin. Kailangan?

Susuwaiyin ko siya at aantayin ko pa rin. Kailangan?

...Oo, dahil para sa akin, karapat-dapat siyang antayin

It's been 4 hours since I last heard her voice.
I'm un-alright
I'm still waiting...
I love her.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

True...

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true

I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

Ewan ahaha, hmm medyo nakakarelate na hindi hehe

Currently Listening to:
Ryan Cabrera - True

Back!

Computer got wrecked, hehe just got it a few hours ago hehe.

Wow tama ata yung sinabi sa kin ni Catey Castillo dati, ang bestfriend ko yung computer ko wahaha. Ewan siguro masyado lang ako maraming ginagawa dito sa computer na to kaya "namimiss" ko siya pag nasira hehe.

Nakakaaliw lang na nasira siya kung kelan marami akong bagay ang gustong itype dito sa blog na to hehe. Sige eto na simula sabado...

Saturday
Well NSTP. Hehe nagkataon na yung mga nakasama ko dun sa jeep mga walang dalang pagkain. Hehe medyo parang consolation na lang namin yung mga hirit na "at least di tayo nataihan wahaha"

Pero ayun narealize ko na ang pagkanta pala ay nakakabusog. Dinaan na lang namin sa tugtog ng gitara ni Chris/Miah/Ralph at kanta ang kumakalam na sikmura hehe. Kung ano anong versions at kanya kanyang renditions ng mga kanta ang pinaggagawa namin hehe. Takaw-pansin pa nga dahil ang ingay namin hehe. Tinitignan tuloy kami nung mga ibang tao sa jeep.

Ayun hehe gutom ako pero masaya pagdating ko sa bahay. Kaso nalaman ko na nasira ni Tricia yung computer so ayun naging gutom na lang tuloy ako... At dahil sira ang computer parang alas diyes palang ata nakatulog na ako wahaha.

Sunday
At dahil nga 10 pa lang tulog na ako, nagising ako ng sobrang aga mga 3am ata...

Ayun dahil maaga naman nagawa kong magsimba sa simbahan ehehe. Lagi na lang kasing mall at ayun narealize ko na andami palang mga rituals ang hindi ko na nasasaksihan.

Pagkatapos ng misa, kumain ako sa mcdo. Hindi naman talaga dahil gutom ako pero dahil gusto ko ng rabbit na laruan ehehe. Ayun dapat sausage mcmuffin lang kaso hindi ko ata maatim na mas mahal pa ang laruan ko kaysa pagkain kaya naging big breakfast na hehe.

After breakfast. Went to gilmore para icheck kung open yung PC express kapag Sundays bukas siya so paguwi ko aantayin ko na lang pala si Daddy.

Ayun sobrang tagal dumating ni Daddy, buti na lang nakausap ko pa si Faye sa phone kaya hindi ganon kaboring yung pagaantay ehehe. Mga 4:00 na nung nagbihis ako at ayun sa wakas dumating si Daddy.

Rarr pinaiwan yung computer wahaha, Ok lang isipin ko na lang na swerte yun kasi midterms week na sa school wahaha.

Ayun pagkatapos nun fone na lang ulit. Uhm wala lang

I just want to hear your voice before I go to sleep

For some reason sobrang natouch ako ng line na yan. Tipong kahit di na ata ako kakain nang buong linggo basta maalala ko na may nagsabi sa kin niyan (at siyempre na siya ang nagsabi sa akin niyan) ok na hehe. Masaya na ako.

Monday
Ayun normal school day na ehehehe.

Math ay halos nonsense na para sa akin. Wala nang pumapasok sa isip ko, patay ilang araw na lang midterms na tapos ganito ang mindset ko rawr.

Free cut ang english kaya naglibrary na lang ako ahaha. Tapos ayun lit hehe makulit siya as usual pero ewan ahh basta ahaha. Tapos ES na natulugan ko dahil medyo pagod ata ako at sabog ang reports.

Tapos nun nagbasketball muna ako bago mag Pe101. Andami kong sablay pero ayos lang hehe, sarap pala maglaro muli ng basketball.

Pe101 na, Ayun nakita ko ang report nung group 1 hehe ayos lang. Buti na lang pala gumawa ako ng outline ng report namin kahit na handwritten. At least tinanggap ni Ma'm hehe pasalamat na lang mga groupmates ko at may naitulong ako sa kanila wahaha.

Tapos nagsight seeing kami ni Luigi bago magreview. hehe ganda ng tanawin. Isang maputi at makinis na pangitain wahaha.

Review for math 19 midterms was ok, medyo ang kulit nung ibang techniques pero feeling ko makakatulong. Tumataas ulit ang confidence level ko ehehe.

Tapos siguro sa sobrang pagod at boredom nakatulog ako ng 8:30, hehe nagising ako ng 12:19 pero naisip ko na matulog na lang muli. Nagising ulit ako ng 3:38 pero natulog ulit ako. Tapos nagising nang 5:25 dahil sa alarm clock, tinatamad ako kaya pinindot ko yung snooze hehe, ayun nagising ako ng 5:30.

Tuesday
Salamat sa tulong ni Richmond Fang, nakuha ko na ang computer ko! hehehe nagawa ko na yung ES homework hehe pagkatapos ng Nba Live promise aral na ako sa math...

Currently Listening to:
Gin Blossoms - Until I Fall Away.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Breakdown!

Sira ang pc ko.

Sinira ng kapatid ko yung pc ko hehe bad3p. Ayan wala akong ym and other shit hehe. Oh well

Im using my first pc hehe. Pero ewan di na ako sanay na gamitin ito. So di na rin ako magtatagal gusto ko lang isulat na yun nga wasak ang pc ko hehe. Next time na yung mga other stuff.

Rarr bad3p wala pang 2 months to eh.

Currently Listening to:
Wala wala akong mp3 dito kaasar!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

As if in a dream...

That's how to describe my life for the past few weeks.

Uhm, ewan I guess napakaonti ng masamang nangyari talaga sa akin nung mga nakaraang Lingo. Yun bang tipong hindi mo maisip na magalit o maasar sa buhay dahil napaka ganda ng takbo nito.

Kahit saang aspeto tignan. Mapa school, social, family, even financial maganda siya. Talagang mga panahon na pakiramdam ko kahit anong pasukin ko, maganda ang kakalabasan.

Ayun ganun ang buhay ko, parang panaginip.

Pero ewan minsan hinahabol ka ng reyalidad. Parang bigla na lang sasabihin sayo na, Hey Boy play time's over. Feeling ko nagumpisa siya sa F ko sa Filipino. Tapos ngayon dito na sa math test ko na pinagaralan ko kaso ewan di ko alam kung bakit ako babagsak. Nak ng pusa, Nagaral talaga ako...

Pero at least school stuff lang yun. Hehe masaya pa rin ako dahil ayos pa ang buhay ko pagdating sa mga kaibigan (hehe yun na lang ayaw ko munang magexpound baka biglang majinx).

Ewan siguro magandang awakening sa kin yung F ko at yung ibabagsak kong math test. Parang sinasabi na Hoy Mico! hindi ka super genius, it's time to do something, it's time to work harder. Mga ganong tipo ba. Pero yun nga naaasar ako na kailangan pa nang isang mapait na paraan para makita ko ito.

Currently Listening to:
Rivermaya - You'll be safe here

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Shattered...

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
- from Pablo Neruda's Tonight I can Write...


I'm un-alright. Hindi ko naman talaga alam kung bakit pero ewan wasak ang emosyon ko ngayon.

Siguro kagabi nagsinungaling ako, sinabi kong Ok ako, pero ang totoo medyo ayun nga nasasaktan ako. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan ang mga bagay bagay. Hindi ko maintindihan ang circumstances about someone and why she did or why she will do what she said...

I really like you, that's why I have to back away...

Ewan isa lang siyang pangunugusap. pero yan ay isang pangungusap na hanggang ngayon ay nanatiling nasa isipan ko. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan talaga kung ano ang tunay niyang kahulugan nang nasabi sa akin yang mga salitang iyan. Naguguluhan kasi ako parang hanggaqng ngayon hindi ko pa rin makuha yung context nung pangungusap na iyan. Siguro sobrang kitid lang talaga ng utak ko kaya hindi ko maintindihan yan. Oh well.

Sabog na sabog na ako. Sa totoo lang halos wala pa akong tulog (maliban na lang nung ES). Pero ayos lang. Ngayon ko tuloy nalaman yung kahalagahan ng isang matalik na kaibigan. PInuntahan kasi ako ni James sa ateneo para lang makinig sa mga saloobin ko. Ewan malaking bagay na yung isang oras at kalahati na yun. Kahit papano medyo may napagbuhusan ako ng damdamin...

May test ako bukas. Math, Kampante talaga ako na maipapasa ko naman iyun. Siguro sinasabi ko to para lang makumbinse ko ang aking sarili na hindi ako naapektuhan (at least sa studies ko) pero peke. Walang epekto sigurado ako na pagkatapos ng exam ko (dun sa 3 hour break) malulungkot nanaman ako... ewan

Currently Listening to:
Blessed Union of Souls - I Believe

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I will not die today

Wala lang nakuha ko yung line na yan sa pelikulang "The Beach"

Although di ko pa napapanood yung pelikulang yun, aliw na aliw ako sa linyang yan. Naimprint na ata sa utak ko yung scene kung saan nagwawala si Leonardo Dicaprio (tama ba spelling?) habang humihiyaw nang "I will not Die Today! (2x)".

Kaninang filipino natanggap ko ang paper ko. Yun yung sinulat ko tungkol sa Lam-Ang. Hehe ayun isang malaking F ang score ko. Medyo shocking nung una pero ewan napagisip isip ko rin naman na noong mga panahong ginagawa ko yun, hindi ako sigurado sa topic, hindi ako sigurado sa tanong na sasagutin. Kaya ewan feeling ko tuloy karapat-dapat lang ang F na natanggap ko.

Hehe oo medyo mapait tanggapinyung F, pero ayun nga nung inisip ko yung mga panahong ginawa ko siya( last christmas break) hindi ko nga talaga sigurado kung ano yung sinusulat ko. Oh well, isang pagkakadapa lang yan. Naniniwala naman ako na kaya ko siyang bawiin sa mga susunod pang mga sulatin para sa Filipino. Hindi ako mamamatay dahil lang sa isang F na yan hehe (para atang kinukumbinsi ko ang sarili ko ehehe). At least ngayon alam ko na yung mga shortcomings ko pagdating sa pagsulat :)

Tapos kanina habang pauwi na kami ni Miah, nilapitan siya ng 1 lalaki. Ewan di ko kasi napansin na nilapitan siya kaya hindi ko na narinig yung usapan nila. Tapos ayun hehe biglang kinabahan ako at naghanda ang defense mode hehe. Pero ayos lang magaling naman magpalusot si Miah kaya ayun nakalsuot hehe. Wala lang di ko kasi narinig yung usapan kaya malay ko ba kung magtatanong lang ng direksiyon ang mga yun, magrerecruit sa isang gang o anuman hehe ewan.

Pero yun nga hindi maalis yung katotohanang kinbahan kami ni Miah wahaha. Pero ang totoo lang medyo handa na akong makipaglaban nun wahaha. Takot oo pero hindi ata ako aatras o tatakbo nung mga panahong iyon. Ewan ahaha siguro matapang ako kasi may kasama ako na mas matangkad (si Miah) at mas malaki sa akin kaya ayun ok lang makipaglaban wahaha. wahaha nakikita ko na lumalaban ako habang sumisigaw ng "I will not die today!" waahaha at least di ba cinematic :P

Naisip ko tuloy na kahit gaano pa ka-developed ang isang lugar, kung may gulong mangyayari ay mangyayari talaga (err tama ba yun).

Currently Listening to:
Hajime no Ippo - Yuuzora no Kamihikouki

Time

Gumagalaw nga ba talaga ang oras?

Wala lang naisip ko lang, kasi minsan parang mas mahaba (o mas maikli) yung mga ibang pangyayari sa buhay, pero kapag tinignan mo ang orasan, makikita mo na pareho lang naman ang oras na lumipas.

Dahil nga oras ang pinaguusapan uhm ewan wahaha lalagyan ko na lang ng timestamps yung mga pangyayari. Hindi ko nga pala inimbento ang mga oras na nakalagay diyan, talagang may pagka weirdo ako at tinitignan ang aking relo ng madalas.

(All times in this post are based on Ateneo Time)

[5:34] Nagising ako, bad trip kasi hindi siya kasing aga ng inaasahang 5:25. Oh well, tapos pagpunta ko ng CR para maligo, nandun pa si Tita kaya ayun nagaantay na lang ako wahaha lecheness..

[6:58]Nakababa na ako sa Megatren. Nasalubong ko si Mich at naglalakad na papuntang Ateneo (ako) at papuntang sakayan ng tricycle (si Mich). Nung nasa may mini stop na kami biglang tinuro ni Mich sa akin yung Rainbow. Wow ang ganda wahaha siyempre dahil abnormal ako, inalala ko na 6:58 nangyari yung rainbow.

Naisip ko rin na mabuti rin palang late ako, since kung napaaga ako ng gising, hindi ko makakasalubong si Mich at hindi niya maituturo sa akin yung rainbow at hindi magiging ganon kaganda ang umpisa ng araw ko.

Tapos dumaan ang break, english, literature at isa pang break. Dahil medyo boring sila (maliban siguro ang literature) parang naka slow motion ang panahon. Ang 4 hours na lumipas ay tila isang buong araw (no kidding wahaha).

[12:30] ES na. Ibig sabihin may presentation.Walanjo naman parang ang bagal ng panahon nung nagrereport yung unang group (hehe gusto ko kasi mabilis lumipas ang oras para hindi na ako magreport) Parang nung panahon ko na para magreport hiniling ko na gumuho yung building, o magbrown-out o maihi man lang si Ma'm at kailanganing magcr sa ES department kaso hindi show time talaga. Oh well, ewan nagawa ko naman ata ng maayos yung reporting ko wahaha oh welps...

[1:38]Oo, talagang ewan pero tinitignan ko talaga yung relo ko niyan. Naisip ko na dahil 2:00 pa ang Pe class ko pwede pa akong magbasketball. Aba ang bilis pala ng oras kapag nagbabasketball ka wahaha. Ang bilis lumipas ng 20 minutes. (ewan ko lang talaga kung bakit sa tunay na basketball yung last two minutes ay minsan katumbas ng isang buong quarter).

[2:00] Show time nanaman. PE 101 test. Patay nanaman. Siguro kahit papano nakakuha ako ng maayos na marka hehe. Sabi ni Ma'm kaya daw tapusin yung test sa loob ng 20 minutes. Siguro dahil sa sobrang katangahan ko (puro hula na lang mga isinasagot ko) natapos ko yung test sa loob ng 15 minutes (kasi lumabas ako ng room mga 12:20, eh tumayo pa ako noon, nagayos ng bag,tapos nagdasal pa si Chris)

[2:25] Basketball nanaman, hehe 3:00 pa naman kasi yung ITM testing, ayun parang ang bilis nanaman ng 20 minutes hehe. Ayos na rin kasi nakakashoot naman ako kahit papano wahaha. (ayos pala maglaro ng pressure sa three point area)

[2:56]Pumasok ako sa CTC114 para mag ITM test. Ayun patay binigyan kami ng 1 hour 30 minutes para gumawa ng halo halong excel,powerpoint at word. leche nalaman ko na kapag pressured ka ang 1 hour and 30 minutesay parang 10 minutes na lang. Oh well see you sa summer na lang :)

Pagkatapos noon ay umuwi na ako at wala nang maalala tungkol sa oras.

Basta nasalubong ko si Kamyl at ayun usap usap lang kami. Tapos baba sa Cubao Station na may headache.

[5:12] Di ko nakaya ang headache kaya natulog na lang ako. Ayun lechugas na tulog yan hindi tuloy ako nakapaglaro ng Nba live (at gising pa tuloy ako hanggang ngayon)

[7:33] Nagising ako, Check mail at yahoo chat lang wahaha. Wala naman akong kailangang gawin bukas kaya sige carry lang chat lang ng chat hanggang mga 9:37. Pagdating kasi noon ay nakipagusap na lang ako sa telepono...

[9:37] Ayan fone conversation na, Kung ano ano nanaman ang pinaguusapan, hindi ko na rin tuloy napansin na ang oras ay tumatakbo. Parang pinatigil na kasi ng utak ko yung kanyang sense of time, siguro dahil naaliw ako sa kausap ko, kaya ayun hindi ko na rin napansin. Kaya biglang boom [12:15am] na pala at kailangan na niyang matulog.

[1:08am] Tapos na ang blog ko na inumpisahan ko nang 12:55 hehe mahaba pala yun wahaha.

Currently Listening to:
Sohpie B. Hawkins - As I Lay Me Down

Sunday, January 16, 2005

under the glow of the satellite...

Wasn't able to blog yesterday so eto pahabol

So ayun ubos oras lang sa school ahaha, wala medyo mahina ako kahapon, inaantok kahit na tama lang naman ang tulog. Hehe hirap tuloy mag ES. Buti na lang nakagawa pa ako ng mga onting bagay dun sa lab kahit na medyo wasted ako.

ayun astigidigidig hehe nanalo ako sa raffle ng ACTM, hehe kala ko nung und DVD player na ang napanalunan ko hehe pero yun pala Bossini Gift Cetificates worth 1,00 pesos ahaha nice na rin!

Tapos ayun sa house... hmm ewan to summarize what happened nuing gabi eto na lang:

"I have been waiting for you all night, under the glow of the satellite..."

Tapos saturday ayun punta pa rin ng ateneo for NSTP

leche mas matagal yung travel time namin kaysa sa area work,. Kasi naman ang unorganized wala pa lang gagawin sa area hassleness naman oh!

Tapos ayun bahay na usap usap lang...

Currently Listening to:
X Japan - Say Anything

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Windstruck...

Watched the movie Windstruck a while ago...

Siguro nagkataon lang na todo senti ako ngayon kaya parang mas nagustuhan ko yung Windstruck kaysa sa My Sassy Girl. Although mas believable yung mga eksena sa My Sassy Girl, medyo mas naantig ako dun sa mga scenes sa Windstruck (although no match pa rin sila dun sa rose and piano scene ng my sassy girl).

I guess pwedeng ma-attribute yung pagkagusto ko sa Windstruck sa fact na may theme ng parting at missing/longing for someone yung story. Ewan ahaha I guess since Fecember 3, 2004 (hehe ayun sa blog) mas nakakarelate na ako sa mga ganyang klase ng emotions. So ayun wala lang, haha.

Nakakaaliw din na narinig ko yung isang kanta ng isa sa mga paborito kong Jrock bands dun. Yun yung X-Japan - Tears. Wala lang ang lupit pala nung mga instrumental nun, tapos kung iuugnay pa dun sa pelikula hmm ewan sabihin na lang natin na naantig ako.

Hindi naman ako naiyak dun sa pelikula, pero naantig ako ahaha. Hehe aliw siya, hindi ko muna isosoli to kay Barbie kasi may gusto akong subukan ahaha. Wish ko lang makatagpo ako ng babaeng ganon wahaha at hindi lang yun, wish ko rin na pwedeng matularan ko yung mga ginagawa nung guy dun :)

Ayun lang, hehe pagod na ako tulog na nga :)

Currently Listening to:
X Japan - Tears

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Hitomi no Juunin

Translation of the japanese song Hitomi no Juunin by L'arc~en~ciel...

L'Arc~En~Ciel - Living in Your Eyes

I don't know how long... but it's been some time,
how much of you do I really know? I wonder...
It didn't go along as smoothly as us tracing our fingers down the map, did it?
I see how it distresses you in your face,
I do notice, you know.
You trying to cover the anxiety over your face.
That much, I notice, if nothing else.

Tomorrow arrives at far too blistering a pace,
and to stand up against it, to resist it, I work myself up into a hustle.
And even then, it's amazing, really...
Just how much I think about you,
Just how much you're in my heart.


When I looked up, the radiance had filled the sky
without losing any of its lustre.
If only I had been like that sun then,
shining down upon you always...


For just a little, just a little more,
I'd like to stay like this, embraced by your scent.

The outside air forms into a clasp around my neck,
and I am pulled away, my back turned away from you.

My sigh blooms forth in clouds of white,telling me that winter has arrived.
And whilst these seasons cycle onwards,
I suddenly begin to think:
"Why is it that I'm here, exactly?"

I want to stay here watching you smile forever
I want to live each changing moment in your eyes,
in that one scene forever colored in gentle hues
to bring us close together, I want to stop time forever.


I want to stay here watching you smile forever
I want to live each changing moment in your eyes,
If one day I could bring you to a serene season
to the flowers blooming in the sky like snowflakes
to the flowers...


Currently Listening to:
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Hitomi no Juunin

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Journal Entry...

Wala lang, nasulat ko to nung November 11,2004 for my Filipino Class hehe Nakakuha ako ng B+ kaya masaya ako dito :P (although mas masaya kung A hehe)

Gusto ko mapraktis ang typing skills ko kaya itatype ko siya ehehe...

So here goes:
Bulong
Umpisang tono pa lang ng kanta alam na kaagad ng karamihan kung ano iyon. Ang unang birit pa lang ng (tenenen ten tenenen) masasabing tunog "nughtclub" na. kapag narinig ang kantang iyon, halos sigurado na ang pagpasok ng mga imahe ng mga boe ng beer, mga lasenggo at mga babeng feeling seksi na gumigiling sa poste. Ang awiting tinutukoy ko ay ang kantang Careless Whisper na orihinal ata ni George Michael. At sa isang hindi ko talagang maipaliwanag na dahilan, ang kantang ito ay tila nakaukit na sa aking isipan.

Nagsimulang maging kantang "LSS" sa akin ang Careless Whisper noong mga Marso, mga huling araw bago ako "grumadweyt" sa LSGH. Nakahiligan ko na kasi ang mga kantang hapon at koreano. Nagkataon na "nagdodownload" ako ng mga kanta ng aking makuha ang Careless Whisper na kinanta ng isang sikat na mangaawit na hapon. Pinakinggan ko ito, naaliw sa sabog na boes ng hapon na "trying hard" mag-ingles at pagkatpos ay kinalimutan. hindi ko naman siya kinahiligan kaya paminsa-minsan ko na lang ito naririnig, kapag natapat sa kanya ang "random plau" ng aking Winamp. Hindi ko tuloy maisip kung bakit eto ngayon ang naging "soundtrack" ng buhay ko.

Biglaan kung tumugtog ang awiting ito sa aking isip. Minsan sa umpisa (sa "tenenen ten tenenen") minsan sa first line ("I feel so unsure...") at malimit sa "chorus" (Isang todo hiyaw ng "I'm never gonna dance again..."). Walang pinipiling lugar o oras. Pwedeng sa panahong naglalakad ako papuntang eskwela, nakahiga bago matulog, o kahit habang nagaantay ng klase. Minsan sa utak ko lang siya tumutugtog pero madalas ay napapakanta na rin ako. Ang aking pagkanta nito ay paiba-iba rin, minsan isang mahinang pabulong na paraan at minsan naman todo hiyaw, kasama na ang pagtanggal ng belt (kung may suot nang panahong iyon), pag angat ng t-shirt at ang todo-bigay na paggiling. Saksi ang ibang "blockmates" sa aking palabas. Ang palabas na walang pinipiling audience; babae, lalake, matanda, bata, basta andun ka, show na!

Ngayon ko lang naisip ang isang posibleng dahilan ng pagka"LSS" ko sa kantang ito. Maaring ito ay dahil sa ang bahay ko ay nakatabi ng isang nightclub. Isang nightclub na nagngangalang kulasisi. Habang sinusulat ko ito ay ang linaw ng pag-alala ko sa gusaling iyon, Puting "building" na may malaking pares ng labi at may "cursive" na kulasisi. Kapag gabi ito ay naiilawan ng pulang neon lights. Ngayon ko rin lang naisip na una kong narinig ang tonong "Careless Whisper" sa labas ng gusaling iyon. Naalala ko rin na sobrang curious akong makapasok doon. Kaso hindi pa nga ako umaabot sa legal age na 18 (17 pa lang ako) ay matagal nang wasak yung gusali at pinalitan na ng Cubao station ng MRT3, ng isang lotto stnad at isang karitela na bentahan ng tokneneng at gulaman.

Siguro kaya laging tumutugtog ang awiting iyon ay dahil sa kagustuhan kong makapasok sa mga bars at nightclubs. Hindi ko sinasabing gusto ko ng mga kahalayan ngunit talagang "curious" ako sa mga nangyayari sa lugar na iyon. At habang dumarami ang nagkwekwento tungkol sa mga clubs, bars at nightspots, parang mas lumalakas ang kanta sa aking isipan at habang inaantay ko ang isa pang taon, wala na kong ibang magagawa kundi ituloy ang "I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm..."

Ayun tapos ang journal entry. May mga sinulat si Sir Yol tungkol dun sa kapalpakan nito pero next time na yun ehehe. Basta B+ siya hehe next time na gagawa ako ng journal entry susubukan ko na siyang gawing A.

Currently Listening to:
Hyde - Careless Whisper

Monday, January 10, 2005

Sky

Poetry class made me think about some useless stuff...

While the class was discussing the poem Mt. Mayon by Simeon Dumdum Jr., my mind was slowly flying away from the room...

It was when the poem talked about clouds, sheeps, and lambs suckin on the blue nipple (which was Mt. Mayon) when I looked out of the window and noticed the sky above us. I remember I saw some formations that I thought were cats, ostriches, thrones hehe varied stuff really.

Then I remembered something that Mr. Remoto said about how we should be like the sky when it pertains to relationships. Something like we should see how the clouds interact with the sky. Everything is fleeting,yes even love is transcient. No permanent place, no permanent shape, no permanent position for the cloud.

(Time out may gagawin lang ako sandali)

Ewan, naisip ko tuloy. ang sagwa siguro kung ang magiging relasyon ko ay parang ulap at isang bahagi ng langit. Yung tipong kahit anong gusto kong gawin upang manatiling kasama ang bahagi ng langit na yun hindi ko magagawa. Talagang kakailanganing umandar, kakailanganing iwan ang aking bahagi ng langit...

Naisip ko, siguro kaya merong mga ulap na sobrang nipis.... Siguro sila yung mga may karelasyon sa mga bahagi ng langit. Sila yung sumubok humawak. Sumubok na manatili kapiling yung kanilang kasintahang langit. Kaya siguro numipis ng ganon kasi binanat niya ng sobra hanggang ayun numipis at tila nasira na ang pagkaulap niya...

Ewan kung ako man, mas gusto ko ata yung ganon, yung kahit na mapunit ako at numipis ng todo pero makakasama ko naman yung kasintahan ko... wala lang siyempre ang idealistic nanaman ahaha, ganon naman ata talaga kapag di pa nararanasan yung tunay na emosyon...

Yun lang, sabi ko sa inyo useless eh :P

Currently Listening to:
SIAM SHADE - Love

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Reblogging...

Hehe tinamad ako magblog so eto yung aking blog backlog hehe...

Thursday:
Wala naman masyadong gawain so ayun nagrelax ako. After math nagpunta ako ng library at nagbasa ng mga libro (something by Tony Perez), doon ko napansin na may punit yung t-shirt ko. Pagtingin ko sa orasan mga 9:30 pa lang so Umuwi muna ako para magpalit ng shirt. Hehe pagdating sa bahay nagpalit ako ng shirt, nagprint ng bagong filipino homework tapos ayun bumalik na ako sa school hehe buti naman at hindi ako late :)

After class I was supposed to have a meeting at 4:30 for the ACTM devalentine project. Kaso dinismiss kami 1:00 hassle aantay ako ng 3 hours and 30 minutes buti na lang nagyaya si Chris na mageastwood ahahah. Patay nanaman ba ang allowance ko at savings?

Well hindi naman todo todo pero bawas pa rin, pagdating sa eastwood ps2 lang at isang laro ng initial d hehe...

Tapos nakabalik ako sa ateneo before 3 rarr hassle to... So buti na lang nakita ko si Anj and we chatted for an hour and 30 minutes hehe (dumating din si Pj kaso anak nmg pusa nung dumating siya halos 4:30 na so ayun useless kasi may meeting ako dratz...)

Meeting ayos lang steady lang ahaha, kung ano anong devalentine stuff ang pinagusapan at para akong isang malaking decoration na walang naitulong wahahah nu ba yun ahahaha oh welpz...

Pagdating sa bahay ayun chat/laro/ tapos kinausap si fone ahaha. Pero productive ang fone chat ko dahil nagawa ko yung Literature thingie ko with the help of my FB. (Fone Buddy tsk tsk wag masama isip).

Friday:
Hmm continued to kasi inumaga ako sa pagtype nung literature na yun hehe alas tres na ata ako nakatulog kaya ayun ngarag ako...

Math ko halos makatulog na ako, buti na lang medyo ayos pa yung will to learn ko ahahaha kaya hindi ako nakatulog...

English ayun bumagsak ang will ko. Knockout pagdating nung Second Round(reporter) pero nakabawi nung dulo nagising tapos nung 3rd round (reporter nga) knockout muli ahahaa...

Literature - Ayos at least maisasubmit ko na yung pinagpuyatan namin nung FB ko (Fone Buddy rarr) ayun wala rin lang yang free cut ahaha kaasar. Wasted ang puyat effort ko wahaha.

May free time ako kaya pumunta ako ng library para matulog pero useless dahil nagbasa na lang ako ng bob ong writings (Ang paboritong libro ni hudas) so di rin ako nakatulog hehe.

ES- patay. Napagusapan kasi ang pollution. tapos napadpad sa silent springs, anong malay ko na yung spring pala yung season na spring yung (winter,spring,summer,fall) akala ko yung Spring na body of water leche hehe kaya nung nagtanong si Ma'm sa klase kung may spring ba sa Pilipinas, proud pa ako sa pagsagot ng Ma'm meron sa Laguna! hot springs pa nga di ba? wahaha leche! Sabing ngarag ako eh.

Tapos ayun pagdating sa bahay natulog ako! ahaha Tapos pagkagising nag IRC ako ayos lang may nakachat ako tapos masayang usapan hehe.

Saturday:
Hmm wala naman masyadong nangyayari sa mga weekend ng buhay ko ahaha

Celadon Amazing Race nanaman. Wow nung Una grabe ang pagkaOp ko ahahaha pero ayos lang masaya yung race 3rd kami out of 5 ahaha leche pagawin ba naman kami ng puzzle na kulang ang pieces wahaha kaya naman pala (actually mabagal lang kami kasi yung nagfirst place 3:00 natapos eh halos 3:45-3:50 ata kami nakarating sa finish hehe).

Tapos ayun hehe, sa house wala usap ulit kami nung FB ko ahaha kakaaliw lang iisa lang pala yung kachat ko sa Irc at si Fb wahaha (btw update lang willpower: 0)

Sunday:
Hmm nagpunta ako sa megamall para bumili ng beerkada t-shirt hehe kaso walang shirt

Astig yung G2 Show (games and gadget show) nakita ko si Lyndon Gregorio (ang creator ng beerkada) at ginawan niya ako ng Southpark style caricature (to be uploaded soon) tapos ayun hehe. Nakakita ako ng mga nagcocosplay at aliw may nakilalang bagong tao ahaha. Astig nakita ko rin yung mtv ng blurry eyes ng L'Arc~en~ciel, siguro mas mapapadalas na ang pagattend ko sa mga ANime Stuff hehe...

Shoot ang ganda nung isang cosplayer hehe astigidig na rin kasi nakausap ko siya) kaso sira yung Skyblade cd na nabigay sa kin lecheness hehehe ay nakalimutan ko nagkita pala kami ni Jonats sa pila nung show.

Tapos ayun nag mass na ako sa megamall astigidig ang lamig nung aircon ahaha at nakaupo na rin ako after a long while. Hehe si Ralph Mendoza nga pala ang nagturo sa aking kung saan yung Mass hehe.

Tapos bumalik ako sa cosplay convention para tumingin ng tao ayun may magaganda pa ring tao na nagcosplay ahaha.

Bumaba ako sa Timezone para maginitial D, leche di ko pa rin matalo yung isang guy dun ahaha pero ok lang kasi naimprove din naman kahit papano yung car ko (nalagyan na ng spoiler).

Tapos ayun bahay na ahaha. Usap ulit sa fone hehe oh my gulai ang willpower ko ay negative na ata waahahaha... Mahirap ata talaga mag let go kapag ineenjoy mo ang isang bagay.

Currently Listening to:
Rejoice theme - Walang Sabit