Saturday, February 21, 2009

Salamat

Sa mga panahong nagiisa ka, dun mo mapagtatanto ang kahalagahan ng mga kasama.

Siguro kung nagbabasa ka talaga ng mga sinsusulat ko rito, mahihinuha mong hindi ako gaanong masaya sa takbo ng buhay ko. Masyado akong naaapektuhan sa mga bagay-bagay tungkol sa aking paghahanap ng trabaho at hindi ko maitatangging nalulungkot ako dahil wala pang nangyayari.

Tulad ng karamihan, ang pagdating ng Biyernes ay ang isa sa aking mga inaasahang araw. Ang ibig sabihin kasi nito ay tapos na ang aking gawain para sa linggo, pwede ng magpahinga, pwede ng bawiin ang tulog at puyat na nagmula sa paggising ng maaga para pumasok. Sabi nga Thank God It's Friday!

Subalit, gaya nga ng aking nasabi sa aking unang naisulat, ang pagdating ng Biyernes ay isang hudyat ng pagkabigo. Pag dating ng biyernes at wala pa ring tawag ay nangangahulugang lumipas na muli ang isang linggo at hindi pa rin ako tinatanggap. Thank God It's Friday?

Usually, I go out with some of my friends during Fridays. During the past few weeks, despite the conflicts, issues and all the crappy things that I had to endure, those little gatherings, dinners and talks were invigorating in the sense that it gave something to look forward to at the end of the week. I usually saw them as outlets of fun. A fun that had been hindered by the drama that I have put into my life.

However, yesterday was a bit of a change of pace. We didn't really schedule anything that week not to mention that they were also quite busy with their lives with some academic and work related stuff. My friend told me that she'd text me if ever she had some extra time but I don't think it really panned out, or she forgot about it.

I took it as an opportunity to be alone for that night. Maybe it's in that silence, and in that solitary moment that I would be able to be more relaxed or at the very least find that calmness to get me through the next week. So I went to a Starbucks in gateway. It's my usual hang out but now it's devoid of the usual baristas that I've befriended through the years save for Aileen. I was there for about 20-30 minutes until I got really bored and really frustrated again. So far alone time wasn't really working.

I decided to take a walk around Araneta Center. But too much walking without anyone to talk to, or anyone to listen to save for music from my mp3 player got really tiring. It just reminded me of the frustrating walk I did earlier in the day.

What hit me was realizing just how much friends played a role in helping me out through these frustrating times. It wasn't really just an outlet of my frustration, but are really critical in being able to balance my frustration with at least some happiness in me. It wasn't just the advices they gave, or the fun things we do together, it's also in the similar problems they told me about, their own frustrations, and all those other stuff.

I guess camaraderie is really important to me, especially right now. I mean i always saw myself as someone who is a bit of a loner. While I've always been quite sociable, I felt that I've set myself up in such a way that when push comes to shove, I'd be able to still accomplish things on my own.

Now, I'm not saying that I've changed and that I've become that need person who would always have to run to friends when things turn sour. However, I became more aware how friends are able to make things just a bit easier.

_

Moral of the story:
Sa susunod na magkaproblema ako, sisiguraduhin ko na hindi busy ang mga kaibigan ko :P

No comments: