These days I'm probably thinking and reflecting about the things that are happening to me and around me using more brain cells than I usually do. I attribute it to the fact that I don't really have any academic concerns due to my impending graduation which leads my brain cells to have more "thinking power" than I usually give.
(here is a yahoo messenger conversation by someone who reacted to my status message. I can't remember what message it was exactly but it was one of those sentimental love messages that I happened to like and I just placed as my status)
Cel: youre always in love
Cel: doesnt the endorphins go away?
micogold: it would have been great if i was
Cel: good for you
micogold: sana nga in love na lang ako, kaso wala eh haha
Cel: i just assumed since yung stat mo palagi senti, as if youre always madly in love with someone haha
Cel: or maybe youre just in love with love
micogold: i think im in love with love
Cel: thats good i guess haha, though it might leave you always hoping
micogold: haha not really, maganda lang naman ang linya, di ko naman isinasapuso
Cel: ahhh hahaha
And after that, I read a book called Uh-Oh Some observations from both sides of the Refrigerator Door by Robert Fulghum. In it was a line which I later learned came from a song.
Falling in Love with Love is falling for make-believe! Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool!
And Fulghum commented: "Right. Count us all in. At Least once. How else could we know it's true."
Yeah, count me in...
As for the title of this post, it came from an anime. It's an instrumental rock piece that came from Kacho Oji (also known as Oji the Section Chief or Legend of Black Heaven) I rediscovered it in my collection as I was cleaning my hard drive.
For some reason the piece brings to me a lonely, sentimental mood while at the same time enticing me in a way to start falling in love again. Perhaps if someone would be able to watch the show and see the context of the song being played in the story, one would understand better why I feel the way I do...
I know that I've only been in one serious relationship in my entire life and I may not be an expert in it. But I believe that I've had my fair share of ups and downs and joy and hurt that would enable me to say a few things about it.
A few days ago, I chanced upon something that made me wonder about how one should approach the coming of love. Perhaps what I'm trying to say is that moment when one begins to realize the development of a potential relationship.
More often than not people try to abstract it, and then begin to weigh the pros and cons, and then decide from there. And while this is quite useful I guess, I tend to believe that it is quite unnatural for people to be doing this. As what I learned in Philosophy class said, Sometimes abstraction (from what i understand it's taking the experience out of the context of our common understandings and working from there, err that's why I only got a C+ in Philo...) tends to desiccate the experience. This is what I think happens when it is so obvious that love (or whatever it is that I'm talking about right now) is already present between the two but then people decide to just step away and say it's not right, or it's not worth it or other similar things.
I beleive that when God blesses you with the opportunity to experience loving and being loved, the proper response to it is to seize the day, grab the opportunity, hold it and never ever let go...
Perhaps I say these things because I myself would want that blessing... not only the experience of being in love with love but being in love with somene and being loved by someone. Perhaps the context of the song (roughly explained, a love that could never be...) is something close to me as well.
What I wouldn't give for that opportunity to be able to love her or to be loved by her...
So yeah, Let Me Go, Let You Go...